“Language Rules!”

“Myself” is quickly becoming the most annoying and blatantly incorrectly-used word in the English language. When would one ever begin a sentence with “myself?” Answer: One wouldn’t (unless, of course, one is using it as a noun as I have above!).

Here are a few examples of recent occurrences of improperly used “myselfs” that I’ve come across recently:

• “Myself and the people I was staying with thought it would be a good idea to donate too.”
• “If you have questions, feel free to email either myself or John.”

Rule of thumb: “Myself” almost always follows a verb, the action of which refers to you, occasionally acts as a sort of situational qualifier, and, in other rare instances, can serve as reinforcement of a noun. It never is a noun.

Examples:

• I bathe myself.
• If I had the time, I would write at more length about grammar myself, but luckily there are books for this sort of thing, the pages of which many — most — of us have graced at one point or another.
• For 20 years now, I have gotten dressed by myself, except when I have drunk too much.
• I, myself, disagree.

Now, run along.